CBS does know what the Grammys are, right?

Perhaps due to the flack that the FCC has given CBS in the past, the network, which is airing the Grammy awards this Sunday, has issued the following memo to award attendees:

CBS Program Practices advises that all talent appearing on camera please adhere to Network policy concerning wardrobe. Please be sure that buttocks and female breasts are adequately covered. Thong type costumes are problematic. Please avoid exposing bare fleshy under curves of the buttocks and buttock crack. Bare sides or under curvature of the breasts is also problematic. Please avoid sheer see-through clothing that could possibly expose female breast nipples. Please be sure the genital region is adequately covered so that there is no visible "puffy" bare skin exposure. 
 
Please avoid commercial identification of actual brand name products on T-shirts. Foreign language on wardrobe will need to be cleared. OBSCENITY OR PARTIALLY SEEN OBSCENITY ON WARDROBE IS UNACCEPTABLE FOR BROADCAST. This as well, pertains to audience members that appear on camera. Finally, The Network requests that any organized cause visibly spelled out on talent's wardrobe be avoided. This would include lapel pins or any other form of accessory.

Side breasts? Jennifer Lopez will definitely have to stay home or go to Nunneries R Us for her dress (see Exhibit A below).  Lapel pins that represent a cause?  Leave your pink and red ribbons at home because CBS doesn't want audiences to know you support cancer or AIDS awareness.  Brand names of any kind?  Thank God Mariah Carey can leave her Coca Cola cup she drinks out of on "American Idol" at home.  I mean does anybody actually believe the diva is actually drinking Coke?

And I don't even know what the keeping genitals covered so that there is no "puffy" skin exposure means.  If you have visible puffy skin around your genitals, get thee to a doctor immediately. 

Although I was on the fence about watching the awards show, I'm curious to see what Christina Aguilera or Rihanna will wear since CBS essentially described their entire wardrobe.  Or perhaps, the celebs will defy the network for issuing such a ridiculous memo and break every rule.  It could make for a very interesting drinking game.