Three tips for the screaming queens on "American Idol"

Some advice for "American Idol," a show I refuse to watch alone as it benefits from group viewings to comment on the onscreen insanity.  First off, the good parts.  The judges have given more constructive criticism than we have heard in years if ever.  These three know music (Randy is a seat filler who I block out and am annoyed when he gets in Mariah or Keith's shot).

However, the show is still missing something that would make it necessary viewing even if my partner is busy on the phone or cooking.

So here are three kernels of wisdom.

No bad auditions.  There is a reason why "The Voice" is the new Idol.  Every person who performs has talent.

Keith should judge shirtless.  Mr. Nicole Kidman does give fantastic critique, but that hint of tattoo is not enough for the public.  We want to see the entire tattoo on a weekly basis.  "The Voice" regularly gives us shirtless Adam Levine, so "Idol" viewers should get shirtless Keith on a weekly basis.

Mariah and Nicki need to get it together.  Nobody wants to see a catfight between two talented performers unless it results in Keith's shirt being clawed off as he regularly sits between them.

That would make "Idol" alone-time viewing.