Memo to Ewan McGregor--fire your agent

"Moulin Rouge," "Pillow Book," "Trainspotting," and "Velvet Goldmine" are the only movies I have truly enjoyed of this fantastic and underrated actor.  Now comes the news he won't take off his clothes in any more movies, which means he needs to get a new agent, because the only reason his fans sit through the dog crap he stars in is because of his never ending state of partial or full undress.

I know Captain VanTrapp won an Oscar for a movie Ewan starred in that I can't remember the title of and refuse to look it up because I care so little about it.  And the salmon movie got some Golden Globe love, but Ewan has horrible taste in scripts.  He is one of the few actors I will watch reading the phone book (actually the only male actor I will).  But the only thing I can remember from most of his films are the points when he shows his giant light saber or gets shirtless.

"Perfect Sense"--great idea, poor execution.  But Ewan does go shirtless and nude several times.

"Deception"--YAWN.  How can a film about an underworld sex group be so drowsy?

"I Love You Phillip Morris"--May have been a good movie, but Jim Carrey is in my top five of actors who I refuse to watch, but then he goes and stars with Ewan and makes me see the stupid thing.  Waste of time.  Side note:  "Truman Show"--good movie if Tom Hanks had starred in it.

"Down With Love"--Renee Zellwegger, who I loved at one point and then gave up, was the so asexual, it hurt.  But I own it because Ewan is so hot as a Rock Hudson type of guy. 

The list goes on, but the point is this:  Ewan, if you are going to cover up that gorgeous body of yours, you need to start reading your scripts and star in something worthy of your visage.  I'll still come to your films if you are covered head to foot, but I'll hate myself a little less if at the end of the movie, I don't go to my car and pound my head against the steering wheel to rid me of the memories of the stupidity I just endured.