Who Should Replace Joy Behar on "The View"

One of the most popular pop culture questions being asked this week is who should replace Joy Behar on The View.  I most likely won't watch whoever it is since Elizabeth Hasselbeck is a right-wing Stepford wife, Whoopi's "sister act" has grown as tired as she looks, Sherri Springfield is a babbling Jesus freak and Barbara Walters insists on constantly talking about sex which makes me want to run to the bathroom every single time.  But there are a few choices that would shake up the panel enough to make the cat fur fly.

Kathy Griffin--Unless hell freezes over, there is no way the vulgar comedienne extraordinaire will ever be invited to the panel.  But it would be must-see TV to watch Hasselbeck's, Springfield's and Walter's heads spin like Exorcist stunt doubles.  And it may even put a whoopee cushion under Goldberg, who has an Oscar for actually being funny, something you don't see at play on this show at all.

Chelsea Handler--Another late-night choice known for her off-color humor, the reasons she would be a gold-star addition are the same as Griffin's.  However, since it's doubtful the Vodka-hawking star even wakes up before noon, so morning TV is probably not in the cards for her.

Kirstie Alley--A realistic possibility since Alley has an emptier plate than Handler or Griffin, aside from a cable comedy series that won't take that long to film.  Any woman who has thanked her husband at an awards show for his "big one" would be a breath of fresh air, where flatulence jokes, usually thanks to Whoopi, are considered hilarity.  And on Dancing With the Stars, she handled the difficult Maks effortlessly and brought out the Ukrainian dancer's charm.

These are the big three.  Ali (I sleep with George Stephanopoulos) Wentworth and Pretty Baby Brooke Shields are boring and more realistic choices for a show I stopped watching the moment after Rosie O'Donnell and Hasselbeck provided this train wreck of a moment.

Still, the venerable Walters deserves any article mentioning her creative baby to end on a positive note.  See Katherine Hepburn answering perhaps the finest interview question ever,  "If you were a tree, what tree would you be?"  Barbara blames the incident on Hepburn, rather than taking ownership of this fantastic highlight of her long career, showing that her "view" has definitely gotten foggier with age, but what a view it was.