One of the most popular pop culture questions being asked this week is who should replace Joy Behar on The View. I most likely won't watch whoever it is since Elizabeth Hasselbeck is a right-wing Stepford wife, Whoopi's "sister act" has grown as tired as she looks, Sherri Springfield is a babbling Jesus freak and Barbara Walters insists on constantly talking about sex which makes me want to run to the bathroom every single time. But there are a few choices that would shake up the panel enough to make the cat fur fly.
Kathy Griffin--Unless hell freezes over, there is no way the vulgar comedienne extraordinaire will ever be invited to the panel. But it would be must-see TV to watch Hasselbeck's, Springfield's and Walter's heads spin like Exorcist stunt doubles. And it may even put a whoopee cushion under Goldberg, who has an Oscar for actually being funny, something you don't see at play on this show at all.
Chelsea Handler--Another late-night choice known for her off-color humor, the reasons she would be a gold-star addition are the same as Griffin's. However, since it's doubtful the Vodka-hawking star even wakes up before noon, so morning TV is probably not in the cards for her.
Kirstie Alley--A realistic possibility since Alley has an emptier plate than Handler or Griffin, aside from a cable comedy series that won't take that long to film. Any woman who has thanked her husband at an awards show for his "big one" would be a breath of fresh air, where flatulence jokes, usually thanks to Whoopi, are considered hilarity. And on Dancing With the Stars, she handled the difficult Maks effortlessly and brought out the Ukrainian dancer's charm.
These are the big three. Ali (I sleep with George Stephanopoulos) Wentworth and Pretty Baby Brooke Shields are boring and more realistic choices for a show I stopped watching the moment after Rosie O'Donnell and Hasselbeck provided this train wreck of a moment.
Still, the venerable Walters deserves any article mentioning her creative baby to end on a positive note. See Katherine Hepburn answering perhaps the finest interview question ever, "If you were a tree, what tree would you be?" Barbara blames the incident on Hepburn, rather than taking ownership of this fantastic highlight of her long career, showing that her "view" has definitely gotten foggier with age, but what a view it was.
As I'm usually a little late to the party, it's no surprise that I am just now obsessed with The Rachel Zoe Project, which just began it's fifth season on Bravo. While I have no use for the Kardashians or the billion Housewives haunting the airwaves, Zoe is a fresh, strong feminine heroine with real skills and life smarts.
The first episode detailed Fashion Week in New York City, which is a big deal for fashion designers' careers. The show keeps the action moving, following Rachel and her fashion team as they get her collection together. Flowers for the backdrop of the show actually make for decent drama shockingly.
The key in all of this is Rachel. She remains an intriguing presence, and not just because she looks like the lovechild of Fergie and Michelle Pfeiffer. She's stubborn and demanding, yet insecure and needy. However, she manages all of these sides of her personality with something sorely missing from most reality stars--star-powered charisma.
Another big draw of this show is that her husband, Rodger Berman, seems to really have her back. This is on the basis of one episode. However, they have been married since 1996, so he is doing something right. They share a sparky chemistry. And, let's face it, he's hot.
And then there is the kid, Skyler, who Rachel keeps fashionably dressed in Burberry, which results in a cute little bit of banter between Rodger and Zoe.
It's a really strong show with a feminine protagonist I would not mind my daughter watching, if I were ever to procreate. The world can have their Housewives and Mob Wives and Sister Wives--I'll be watching a woman who is not defined by her relationship with a man, but by her relationship with herself and everyone around her.
We all know that Kunis is dating celebrity douche Ashton Kutcher, the man who broke Demi Moore's heart. But the actress showed real chemistry with charming British reporter Chris Stark who interviewed her during her junket for the latest Oz ripoff. Watch it below. I have seen it about ten times.
Stark basically "Hugh Grants" his way through the entire interview, beguiling the gorgeous star and the world in the process. And Kunis gets major props for running with it, encouraging the adorably bumbling interview neophyte to keep the conversation off the rails.
Of the various blogs and stories I have read about this moment in pop culture history, the most interesting was by Vulture. The article details why Kunis and Jennifer Lawrence are America's new BFFs, while Anne Hathaway is the woman we'd like to see take her Oscar and go away. The link to that article is below.
So, basically it's just a matter of time before we are all making snarky comments about all the things we now love about Kunis and Lawrence, thanks to the ebb and flow of public opinion. But for now, the two actresses can bask in the stardom due to their girl next door likability. And in Stark, the Brits have a new journalism star who will hopefully ride that boy next door cuteness as far as it can take him.
Lifetime redeemed itself a bit this past week by pulling Drop Dead Diva from the ashes and granting the show a fifth season thanks to a little budget cutting. While there is no word when the new season will air, the show will most definitely be must-watch television when it returns, most likely this summer.
So much on the air is serious drama, police procedurals, reality ridiculousness or edgy comedy. This dramedy has its share of drama and can pull at the heart strings, but in that great Sleepless in Seattle way. After all, the premise is pure fluff...hot vacuous model named Deb dies by running her car into a fruit truck and comes back in the body of a smart lawyer named Jane who isn't a size zero.
But it's this premise that gives the show its heart and soul. Seeing Deb adjust to life while her ex-fiance and family move on without her provide the biggest moments of impact because of the central conceit--if Jane tells anyone that she is actually Deb, bad things will happen. Although thankfully this rule does not apply to her model best friend and confidante Stacy, the only one besides her guardian angel who knows her secret.
However, it never gets too soul searching--the point is not to solve any giant life problems, but to provide the audience with some cotton candy in a world that can be a carnival of errors.
The cast is game with the biggest name being gay icon, Margaret Cho, who does funny supporting work as Jane's assistant. The show has attracted a who's who of kitschy celebs including Joan Rivers, Rosie O'Donnell, Paula Abdul, Kim Kardashian, and Brandy. Plus the men seen below...Jackson Hurst, who plays the object of Jane's affection; Josh Stamberg, who plays her boss; and Ben Feldman, who plays her guardian angel.
I am, of course, saving the show's best asset for last. Brooke Elliott, who plays the titular heroine, is a marvel. It would have been easy to play this character too broadly. But Elliott somehow walks that tightrope of playing up Deb's vapid personality with an effervescent charm and heartbreaking sweetness and strength while proving her crack comic timing time and time again without reducing the character to caricature. Plus she can sing. The proof is in the pudding below.
The biggest mystery since the show premiered is why the actress didn't become a bonafide star as a result of the show. It's not because of her size--witness the heights that funny lady Melissa McCartney is currently climbing in Hollywood.
But I digress. If Elliott decides to not take on another project, we will always have the lasting joy of this show and her magnetic performance. Kudos to Lifetime for giving it a chance.
Be sure and catch the revamped Army Wives this weekend. The promo is below. Just don't make the mistake of finding out the reason Kim Delaney is leaving the show. This actress's fall into darkness is heartbreaking and this episode, in which the characters mourn the death of Delaney's Claudia Joy, promises to be a doozy.
The Pope has left the building! Actually, he hasn't left. He will continue to reside at the palace while his successor is chosen by the 115 cardinals, the majority of whom he appointed.
Can they fix the mess that is the Catholic Church? It looks doubtful, short term at least. With a tenure riddled by priest sex scandals, fewer priests and fewer followers, Benedict XVI does not leave behind a legacy to be admired. His successor has an uphill battle in overcoming these obstacles as well moving the Catholic Church into the 21st century. Simply creating a Twitter account will not make that happen.
Nor will it happen if it continues living in a time that does not exist. If the Catholic Church thinks it will thrive by resting its hopes on Caucasian straight men, it needs to think again. Women, LGBT, and other minorities are now a true force to be reckoned with in this day and age. While the Catholic Church faces problems that many other religious orders do (see Baptists), this is a time to really make Catholicism into a religion of the people.
It's not so far fetched. The basic tenants of the Catholic Church are solid. I'll even go along with transubstantiation which states one is actually eating the skin and blood of Christ when taking communion. But it has to stop acting like time has stood still.
Wishful thinking? Perhaps. But I'm just waiting for one mainstream religion to go down the path of enlightenment and actually follow the teachings of Christ rather than the words of men.
If this miracle were to happen with the Catholic Church, count me in on the first communion. My thoughts and prayers are with them.
The "Washington Post" has one of the most succinct articles written on where the Catholic Church is at during this transition.
The Oscars presented a tribute to the musicals, James Bond and Ben Affleck, the latter being the most honored snubbee in Academy history. This year's Oscars managed to entertain and (for the most part) not bore the audience during the entire four-hour running time.
There were flaws to be sure. Having the musicians play in another room (?) on a night honoring musicals led to sound issues for even the fantastic Adele. And while the Jaws music being used to play off winners with long speeches was inspired, all the Anne Hathaway haters wish it had been used for hers as well as for the "lesser" categories.
Also, in a night honoring musicals, it's amazing to think that only three were represented--Les Miserables, Dreamgirls and Chicago. At the very least, it would have made sense to do a musical montage with such greats as TheWizard of Oz, The Sound of Music, Moulin Rouge and even MammaMia.
And the James Bond tribute, which was hampered by not having the Bond actors show up due to various issues with the Bond family, would have been more rounded out by having Adele sing "Skyfall" right after Shirley Bassey sang "Goldfinger" just to keep it all in the OO7 realm.
And as per usual, the presenters were best when just presenting the awards without banter. The usually funny Melissa McCartney and Paul Rudd failed to land their witless lines. And I honestly have no clue what the cast of The Avengers were asked to do other than look good, which they did if you turned the TV on mute during their embarrassing award presentation.
But these are minor quibbles. Overall, the show was successful with a winning host (see my review of Mr. MacFarlane in another post) and a winning night.
Best Moments (apart from MacFarlane)
Shirley Bassey--Some singers just sing, but Bassey literally ripped into "Goldfinger" with such ferocity, I could see blood on her lips by the end. A great, over-the-top performance.
Anne Hathaway's final speech--The moment it ended, I breathed a dream of silent relief that we would not be subjected to her baby-voiced perkiness for a long while. I almost feel bad for hopping on the Hathaway-hater bandwagon, but if you can't fake sincerity, you probably shouldn't be working in Hollywood.
The Tribute to the Musicals--While Catherine Zeta Jones had a rough time of it, she looked great during the Chicago tribute. Jennifer Hudson, who I love, but won't sit through Smash for, dug into "I'm Telling You I'm Not Going" with the gusto only she and Jennifer Holliday can. And the Les Miz cast, including Russell Crowe, presented their movie with aplomb, with the beautiful Samantha Barks stealing the stage with her verse.
FLOTUS--First Lady Michelle Obama and Jack Nicholson present an award together. Legendary.
Adele--While her performance was hampered with sound issues, she sounded terrific. And when she won the award for best song, she reminded us why she is one of the most beloved entertainers in the world--she's just happy to be here.
Babs--Barbra Streisand took to the stage in a rare live performance to sing "The Way We Were" during the "In Memoriam" segment and reminded everyone that she is a star of the highest order, even when in recent years she has been languishing in movie duds like Meet the Fockers and The Guilt Trip.
Daniel Day-Lewis--Going in, everyone knew he would be charming and self-effacing during his acceptance speech, but who knew he was going to start doing comedy with perfect timing? Landing jokes about playing presenter Meryl Streep's Iron Lady, his urging Steven Spielberg not to make Lincoln a musical, and even poking fun at his method acting, Lewis presented a master class in giving a clever and for-the-ages acceptance speech.
Jennifer Lawrence--While I wait with bated breath for the backlash to begin (today's "Huffington Post" shows a picture of her possibly smoking weed--and so it begins), the actress charmed as usual. After falling up the stairs, she received a standing ovation to which she replied, "You all gave me a standing ovation because I fell and that is embarrassing, but thank you." And her behind the scenes press room interview was even funnier. The girl has an Oscar, two current movie franchises, and has directors clamoring to work with her. She has not yet begun to peak.
Argo--Ben Affleck's moving acceptance speech brought rainbow tears to my eyes. The best part was how he thanked his wife, Jennifer Garner-- "I want to thank my wife ... for working on our marriage for 10 Christmases. It is work, but it's the best kind of work. And there's no one I'd rather work with." Perfect ending to a solid night of entertainment and one of the best Oscar ceremonies in years (and yes, I'm pretending the last musical number with MacFarlane and Kristen Chenoweth did not happen).
Charming, funny and easy on the eyes, the Family Guy creator was probably the best host the Oscars could have hoped for in an awards season that took itself too seriously in which politics, both torture and Harvey Weinstein related, took center stage. And the mass criticism against his performance by everyone from police women in California to Hanoi Jane herself proved that maybe Hollywood has come to a point where it needs to check itself. It's entertainment, folks--not curing cancer.
MacFarlane's monologue was funny and biting, with Django Unchained being called the perfect Rihanna and Chris Brown date movie being one of his funniest jabs. His punchline about Jennifer Lawrence being glad that Meryl Streep wasn't nominated in her category, poking fun at the ridiculous controversy she stirred at the Golden Globes, was punctuated by a funny camera scan to the actress who laughed and put her head in her hands.
While I winced at William Shatner (at this point, who doesn't when Mr. Priceline comes on the screen), it led to some throwaway funny bits like "I Saw Your Boobs," in which MacFarlane sings a Mr. Skin song about actresses baring their bosoms in various roles. Of course, everyone, even the normally sound-minded "Huffington Post," decried the song as sexist. It was funny. Sure, he mentioned a couple of women in rape roles, but those same women picked up Oscars. So is it worse to pick up a statue for playing a rape victim or sing a song about it? It's acting. This just in--Jodie Foster and Hillary Swank were not actually raped, but their actual boobs were on display. We are such a sensitive bunch.
Still, it led to the very funny "I Saw Your Junk" featured below about actors who have dropped trou on film, so I'm happy the criticism led to something positive.
And his Flight parody with sock puppets led to the best sight gag of the night--socks in a dryer to simulate the folks in the plane being tumbled around. The Sally Field-Flying Nun bit was funny because the actress was so game and seemed to be one of many in the audience, including the usually stoic Tommy Lee Jones, who enjoyed MacFarlane's shtick.
The cherry on top of this well-executed monologue were the musical numbers. Channing Tatum and Charlize Theron need to book a dance movie stat. And Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Daniel Radcliffe were charming as always. But the real surprise, since I know little of MacFarlane's work, was that the man can sing and toe step with the best of them.
Overall, this was one of the longest but most enjoyable monologues in Oscar history. It also did a fantastic job of introducing a ceremony that focused on the movie musical (more of that during my actual review of the show itself).
MacFarlane also kept up his presence throughout the show, even announcing upcoming presenters before throwing it to commercial. Seeing an attractive guy tell the audience who's coming up on the show, versus some voice over the loud speakers as the camera pans the crowd as the Oscars usually does, was nicely inspired.
If I had one criticism, it's that MacFarlane didn't always have perfect comic timing in his joke delivery. But he was working with very funny material, got the jokes out in a disarming way and had me completely won over in the first five minutes. Unlike Ricky Gervais in his infamous Golden Globe hosting stints, MacFarlane's delivery focused on charm versus smarm.
It's too bad that hosting the Oscars is such a thankless job, because MacFarlane got the ratings and viewer support. In most of the polls, a vast majority of viewers would like to see him back next year. And for good reason--he was actually entertaining. While he was no Fey and Poehler or Neil Patrick Harris, who won accolades for hosting less stressful awards events, he was certainly better than any Oscar host since Johnny Carson (I'm sorry Billy Crystal, Whoopi Goldberg, David Letterman, Chris Rock, Hugh Jackman, Jon Stewart, Anne Hathaway and James Franco).
So to all of his critics, who need to quit being so sensitive, "You all are boobs, you all are boobs, I saw the Oscar show and you all are boobs."
